My 4 Rocks

Back in March, during service, we were asked to go up and grab a paper bag. We could only get one bag and everyone had to pick their own. When I opened my bag, I found 4 rocks and each rock had a word on it: FORGIVE, REJECTION, DEVOTION, and SELF CONTROL. Everyone's rocks had different words, these just happened to be mine, so I wanted to share the relevance of these words in my life.

FORGIVE: This hasn't always come easy to me because I've had to find a way to forgive some people in my life for some way out stuff. From my molestation as a child to physical abuse, but I also learned that forgiveness is a 2 way street. Not only have I had to forgive people, but I've also had to ask for forgiveness from others. And if I can be forgiven for the foul things that I've done to others in my life, then how can I not forgive others? This rock is in my DAILY walk, whether it be a coworker, a family member, or someone cutting me off in traffic.

REJECTION: I tend to battle with my fear of rejection whenever I'm asked to step outside my comfort zone. I tend to hide under the security of my shell. Most recently this has been true with the development of my personal blogging site. I've gotten so consumed with likes and follows, that I've forgotten what my purpose for the site was. Tt wasn't to become the next great phenomenon, but to reach someone out there through my personal journey in the hopes that they would see the silver lining.

DEVOTION: These past 3-4 wks have been rough with work and getting kids back to school, my devotion to personal time with God has really fallen off. Not only to Him, but to myself. I haven't written in nearly a month. I haven't just sat and had a one on one with God in a few weeks. And its hard to admit, but I feel it... emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically.

SELF CONTROL: It's ironic how all these rocks tie together with my self control, or lack thereof. This past week has been very hard with work, dealing with kids, maintaining a family, and all with the daily things that life throws in the mix, my self control has really been stretched to the limit this week. With having to ask for FORGIVEness for things I've said, my personal feelings of REJECTION from my kids, my lack of DEVOTION in certain areas in my life, have all come together to lose my sense of SELF CONTROL, but I'm still thankful for a new day, new mercies, my family, my husband, my kids, my journey, and my willingness to grow more and learn from my mistakes.